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Suckadelic Star Bong by Sucklord

August 15, 2016

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The Sucklord is an artist who makes bootleg action figures with some very unusual themes — many of which are parodies of Star Wars characters or toys. (Some of the things on his site could be considered NSFW.) From what I understand, he basically makes everything by hand, taking molds from original figures and otherwise customizing them to transform, for example, a vintage R2-D2 action figure into a can of “America.”

I know this was sold by The Sucklord himself at the CannaBus Culture Film Festival, but it was also apparently sold by DKE toys at SDCC 2016. From what I can tell, they were selling it for $20 and there are still some available on the secondary market for not much more than that, even though some on eBay are trying to charge a lot more.

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For this particular item, instead of making a new figure, he’s repackaged a hookah pipe and shackle from the vintage Jabba the Hutt Action Playset. They overproduced the set so much back in the day that these are still readily available today. It’s cool to see it take on a second life this way.

The main idea behind this piece is that the Jabba playset is really kind of a dark toy for kids in many ways. Not only is the main character a hideous gangster who enslaves people (they even included a shackle so you can enslave your own figures!), he smokes a water pipe, which is pretty closely tied to drug culture. When you think of all of the news stories about parents who are aghast at a talking toy that supposedly says a bad word, or all of the people who are convinced that stuff like Pokemon is satanic, it’s kind of surprising that this made it under the radar (not that I’m complaining).

“Totally for kids,” reads the front of the card, which pictures Jabba (actually a somewhat off-model life-size statue that has been shown at conventions) along with some Star Wars characters mashed up with drug icons, like Yoda as “The Dude” from The Big Lebowski, or Snoop Dogg as a Jedi.

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On the back is the photo from the vintage box, along with a long block of text which I have reproduced below. I really like this piece because it taps into some of the reasons that I love the vintage Jabba playset. Plus it’s made with super thick cardboard, which is something that mainstream toy companies could learn a thing or two from.

In 1983 KENNER Toys released the JABBA THE HUTT ACTION PLAYSET as part of their RETURN OF THE JEDI Action Figure line. While on the surface, this toy seemed like any other plastic representation of an iconic Space Alien, it is, in reality, one of the most PERVERTED TOYS EVER MADE! Amongst the other accessories included in this set was a BONG and a BONDAGE LEASH.* Apparently there was no close study of this item as Hundreds of Thousands of these sets were purchased by unwitting parents, who had no clue they were encouraging degeneracy in their children by giving them replica S+M gear and plastic Drug Paraphernalia. Looking at this Generation now as adults, one must conclude that it was clearly the corrupting influence of this toy that has caused their downfall. Someone must be held accountable.

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